“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart.
…live in the question.” Rainer Maria Rilke. Letters to a Young Poet.
I have been given permission this week to write from someone else’s words. Not to Rainer Maria Rilke, but to a near stranger …whose words I have written from before now that I think of it.
Though he said I didn’t need to ask, that indeed ‘idea making is collaborative anyway’ (to which i concur), when someone writes in a way that is so open, that is so generous of time and thought that it makes you blush on your own in the early hours of the morning, I could never ‘steal’ something so beautiful as Austin Kleon says all artists do.
The near stranger was responding in part to the way I write and suggested, in reading my posts and poetry, that I had reconciled myself to uncertainty, ‘You court it’; and that, as the title of my blog suggests, I speak of living with ‘wonder on purpose’.
To court uncertainty is to suggest to me that I choose to enter into a love affair with it. That I choose to take its arms, sway a little with it in vast fields, on rocky edges and in deep waters; and that I let it kiss me, just a little until perhaps it is not so uncertain, that it feels nice.
Of course, some times its not so gentle (I did say ‘rocky edges’ didn’t I…). Sometimes its a torrid affair, at first attractive then quick, mean and hurtful. But, believing always that it takes two to tango, yes, even here I have courted it, welcomed it in.
When I marry these images with the suggestion this man has made, I am met with a clear, unwavering thought – ‘But why wouldn’t you?’
The question mark has always been alluring to me. A temptress who courts me as much as I court it. If I don’t understand it, its exciting, alluring, beautiful.
I’m laughing now because I’m also thinking ‘dangerous too’ but it’s only dangerous because its different and difference often infers challenge, fear, trepidation and vulnerability.
It’s simply that I want to touch it. Know it. Understand it. Not through any desire for control or possession but perhaps because I know it can change me. Help me grow, help me further open up to the world and to others, help me in the most simplest of ways on a hard day by changing my outlook or my attitude.
And in this way the question mark does something unexpected, it brings assurity…
Wonder. Meant …that I am forever tempted (and tingly with it).