“It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.
…I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.
…I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
And if you can source your own life
from its presence…”
Excerpts from ‘The Invitation’ By Oriah.
Inviting someone into your life requires an openness to ‘other’. An openness to new worlds, new ideas and to difference …to pasts you have no sense memory or understanding of and to other communities as well as new ways of being. How you choose to present yourself to this person as much as how this person chooses to present themselves to you cannot be a construct if the greeting is to be an honest and meaningful one.
I have had the pleasure of meeting many new people this year and of late I have been observing how these people, including myself, due to similar stresses and pressures, have let go of any of those ways of being; those stories about ourselves we may use when first meeting people, to give what we want them to understand about us. People are simply existing as they are…stressed, crazy, energized …joyous in many ways too with the understanding that this period will come to a close and that they are loving of those people and connections they have made over the year.
This way of relating and being has made me smile of late. I am more relaxed than I have been in ages, confident that I can simply be myself, drop any pretenses and stand as I am, ask for what I need …as much as give to others what they are asking and need from me.
I had a lightning bulb moment on Monday evening thinking about this in relation to those aforementioned stories we gather along the way and how we can sometimes rely upon these stories to give us meaning when first meeting ‘other’. That it’s as if we almost write up key events in our life and pull them out like scripts when needed to give us worth, to make us seem exciting, interesting, intelligent, experienced or whatever we want others to think we are.
Of course the desired outcome is not to appear ‘cool’ as so often some people fumble around trying to be (often coming across more arrogant than anything else), but to receive love. They are used as if to say ‘Here. This is what I have to show that I am worth something. That I am worth loving’.
But as Oriah’s poem ‘The Invitation’ reveals, the construct is not of interest really. Not if we are to truly love for loving encompasses the sum total of ALL ones parts, including vulnerabilities and failures.
More so than this however the opportunity to truly love other can only come about by relating in a way that comes unencumbered by ‘preparedness’.
Letting go of the script allows for something very exciting to happen. As dialogue is simply allowed to unfold between two parties, as parties simultaneously offer and receive, meaning making is occurring. Old layers can be shed and new layers discovered through what is being created BETWEEN people.
I would argue (as I think I have in a previous blog ‘Inspiration – from where do you draw breath) that it’s impossible not to love someone or something if it simply stands in front of you as it is.
Wonder. Meant …that I invite from myself what I would only wish others to feel comfortable in revealing to me. An honest and open revelation of who I am, simply, here, right now.