Ode to the red light

‘…when everything changes, I need a bookmark…’ John Geddes.

‘Human freedom involves our capacity to pause between the stimulus and response and, in that pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight. The capacity to create ourselves, based upon this freedom, is inseparable from consciousness or self-awareness’. Rollo May.

I have recently discovered great pleasure at the mercy of the red light. Yes. The red traffic light.

Most often it only provides the briefest of pauses but sometimes a pause is what’s needed in order to fill up for the journey ahead.

In a few hours I will be on a plane. A much needed week away to cultivate this pause. To cultivate peace, quiet and to settle into this now in-between place I find myself; after uni, before…I don’t know what.

The uncertainty I feel has its moments of great anticipation, glimpses caught of what could be next. But as glimpses go they are only fleeting and as full of question marks as everything else.

All this of course can leave a person feeling pretty vulnerable, pretty wide open, and I admit, writing this from a bed stripped of sheets, curled in amongst a bare doona, I’m pretty exhausted.

But…

As this blog is all about (as I am all about) pondering on these very uncertainties, in finding purpose on wonder, I find meaning from bed this moment appreciating that chapters come and go, that my life will continue to move forward as it always has and that because of the sturdy foundations I have in the overwhelmingly supportive, loving people I have in my life, no matter what happens when I turn the page, I will be there to greet it breathing.

Wonder. Meant …that certainties, though often few, are found in the simplest of every day things. I humbly say a thank you to those things I am so fortunate to have and assure you, I shall return.

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