Space, intimacy and purpose

“Rest and be thankful.” William Wordsworth.

Whilst overseas I spent a lot of time quietly. Quietly reading, quietly swimming, walking silently, or in yoga and meditation.

It was so relaxing not filling time so readily, to

take

the

time

…to create space even if it was just so that space could be just that. Empty.

Here there was room for contemplation …but also for things to find me.
Coming home with these experiences caused a cleaning frenzy and a new found desire to rid myself of all unnecessary clutter. It also found me sitting on my balcony a lot more reading for hours and spending more time intimately connecting to things, people,  places …even to myself.
The biggest change came today in realising, perhaps not for the first time, that this level of intimacy I was so loving could not find a place on Facebook. Every time I felt the need to post something about the joys I was experiencing it felt like in doing so I might dishonor those moments as much as give them away, not own them, love them, enjoy them.
And so, today I decided to take a break from Facebook.
It’s been a topic of conversation amongst a few of my friends of late with two going so far as to deactivate their accounts. When talking to my friends about why,  each discussed the stresses and anxieties they felt, constantly experiencing a need to check their news feed often for things that were of no real use or concern.
More anxiety arose when they saw pictures of things, people and places where they weren’t. They feared that they were missing out and what followed was often a feeling of desperation to rush out or to update as if to say ‘I’m doing something too! My life has meaning and purpose!’
But meaning and purpose… Is it found here? I had an experience two days ago that was incredibly meaningful, that reminded me of all that was good in life, that brought a profound sense of simplicity when it came to notions of life purpose; and for the most part all this experience involved was sleep and the sound and feeling of human breath.
Making space to honor intimacy I hope to be with all the earthly pleasures more …touch, smell, taste… conversations that have bodies to read and experiences that are honored by my giving them attention, the attention they deserve. In this way they will also satisfy me as I don’t give them away in the moment so readily. I allow them to tickle as they unfold.
Wonder. Meant …that taking a break can sometimes see your life at home in pieces. But having the opportunity to contemplate the parts can allow you to reassess the pieces of the puzzle; to cast away or to fall in love all over again with what you have. Already I’m enjoying creating a whole new picture.
X Kate
Ps. I was sent this between drafts and thought it rather fitting.  I hope you find something in the read also.
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