Let me have this time again.
Let me show you what I could do with it.
Let me show you that
in my quest for life
I can do more than simply profess my love for it
More than simply say
every time it has given me something
(…as if I didn’t deserve it
…as if I hadn’t welcomed it),
more than do what is ‘right’
whatever I have supposed ‘right’ is.
I will simply say
so that I may go somewhere I have never been before
And for that
need never return
need never ask
for this time
I’m affording myself a good life.
I’m affording myself rhythm and
gardens without fences
and time to pause with sincerity and actually
I’m affording my-self honesty, so that
in being honest with you
we might go a distance
We might bypass the bullshit and actually delight in knowing each other
I’m affording myself work I would happily do for free,
food for my body
as much as the body of this planet
And I’m affording myself You
it wont be the money I made to afford me such things
that I’ll want more of when time is slowing;
I will only want what I readily gave my love and passion to
To follow up
I would like to add
this is a kind of mania
I know I can’t keep up.
not for drowning
but for choking as I guzzle
for this reason
as I stare upon this chaser
and the man who sits across from me at the bar
if this will be my last.
I wonder if what I want
is something I might have gotten somewhere else
with out gasping
I suck in the air around me.